The sad face could have just been the way I have felt this past week, I have been waiting and waiting to have John's Head stone finished. I hear over and over again should be soon.. Every other week I call the monument place to check on the Status, found out it was finished BUT! Oh yes a big But. It would have to be redone. After the military didn't help pay for the Bronze I changed everything and was adding a picture of our Jeep. It's a picture of John climbing and getting some air. Looks like he is driving into the clouds.
The picture turned out awful and you couldn't even tell what it was.. . I could feel my heart drop. I cried it's something that has caused stress and sleepless nights. I want John to have his stone. The kids and I need him to have his stone. I was told the stone it self would be layed this week but with out the picture. The picture will take some more time.
You know I miss John so deeply. and still have days I don't Believe he is gone.
Or maybe I just don't want to face reality.
Can I just say sometimes Reality Sucks!
I do thank God, I thank God every day for the blessings I do have and the Blessings I did have.
John was a huge Blessing! I see him in our beautiful kids, In Kenzie's eye's in Jash's ways.. The family knows what I mean Jash has so much of his dad in him.
Jash has tried to be a handy man. He knows things break around the house and being the sweet ( stubborn) kid he is He has tried to help. I also have wonderful friends who help me with things there is No way I could fix. Mostly with the Jeeps. I can fix little things around the house but when it comes to my Jeeps I'm clueless. So to my friends, Clint, Allen, & Jackie thank you so much for helping me keep my Jeeps up and running. Driving the orange Jeep makes me feel closer to John. I have to keep it going which Keeps me going.. This weekend I went to The Ranch with the club and it was the first time in Johns Jeep. I had tried once before But the Jeep broke before we even got in down in the Canyon..
The last time John was down in the Canyon was the Challenge. I remember heading to the gas station and after John pumped gas and Jash and I got a Monster drink. we all got back into the truck and John had a glow in his eyes. The last year of Johns life his glow was something we didn't see much of. But that day I saw it and I even told him he was back!
He at first he looked at me like I was crazy! But I saw him .
Later months later right before he passed he told me he knew what I meant. That he knew part of him was gone. Two weeks later John went to heaven. So going to the Canyon this weekend has a new meaning for me and I couldn't have gone if it weren't for my hero's who keep my JEEP up and running. Here is a picture of me driving in the Canyon.. I have to say I'm pretty darn proud of my self for even trying half the trails I do. I'm telling ya he is with me...

On a happier note. Things are pretty OK. Kenzie and Jash are doing good in school and getting great grades. We had a good Spring Break. I got the kids a new Wii game and we are enjoying it. We stayed up late and enjoyed being around each other.. I think my kids are the best kids in the world. We do have our wonderful moments and our happy moments. Kids go back to school tomorrow.

I will ask you all to please Pray and hard. My dear friend Mikka is back in the hospital she is having a hard time right now. Just lifts her and her family up. God bless..