Monday, February 2, 2009

3rd class of Grief Share

I just went to my 3rd grief share class. The class it self went much easier than the last two. You talk about the person you loss and share with the group what ever you feel like sharing. Talking about John is hard but I enjoy talking about him. John was always my best friend in my life and I miss him but I want to be able to talk about him in front of other and it not seem weird.
Next week we are talking about losing a spouse.. That class may be the hardest yet to come.
You know it may be easy for other's to judge me and to think my life is too much Drama. But It's my drama I didn't ask for it, It just happened. People may put them self's into my Drama if it should be called that but till you have been where I'm at you have no idea what someone is going through.
I'm trying to learn how to live my life without what I thought was the main part.
It's like biscuits and gravy my favorite breakfast I no longer have my gravy so I have to learn how to eat my biscuits with something different like Jelly or just butter.
Ok that might not sound hard to some but for me it's very difficult. I guess I just called John my gravy. Now I can see him shacking his head calling me a dork.
That's why I loved him...
all in all this past week went by pretty easy. The only big stress I have is my taxes... Oh How I hate this time of year. John always said I let things get to me that I shouldn't. John being the smartest man I have known I guess he was right.
I will be glad to have Thursday over though that's when I meet with my tax lady.
On a brighter note Jash's 14th birthday is Saturday the 7th. We are having his birthday Friday night at Church I just hope he as a wonderful day. On his Birthday we have a wedding to attend, PLEASE pray I can do this. I'm so scared.. It will be my first wedding. I have thought a lot about my wedding but what makes me sadder is Kenzies... Just pray for us..
also here is a list to pray for..
Rick Owens who is battling cancer
Shelia who is also battling cancer
Mikka Lamberson my dear friend who has the same Leukemia as John.
Larry Mclain who lost his mother today
My friend Jennifer who is getting married Saturday pray for a happy marriage
Just pray for everyone, and make sure to say Thanks for what you do have.
I pray for everyone in my grief Share classes everyone there as their own hurt and I pray God will heal their pain.
I'm thankful for two wonderful children,and family and great friends who have stayed beside me through the hardest time and didn't bail because it was too hard on them. Mostly I thank God for giving me the time I had with John. The memories I will hold dear to my heart.